Who took away the natural joy a child is born with? Society influence? Us as parents?

Want to see full blown JOY? See a baby’s first smile, or hear that little giggle. Actually if you’re like me that first giggle was really gas bubbling up and of course we could swear it was a giggle, right! How about when your little one first coos at you. Everyone chimes in, “Look they are trying to talk”. Grabs your heart I bet.
Want more authentic visions of full blown joy? Just watch a little child at play. Unaware of who is watching and little legs all curled up under them in impossible bends that we only wish we could get into today. Yes, they call those bends full-squats and most adults cannot get into that position without taking up yoga.  Have I painted a good picture of JOYFUL for you?

 So when does that innocent and au natural joyfulness stop… and then the need or desire to be accepted start in a child’s mind?  I’ve heard, and believe, that children are born knowing they are ENOUGH! So knowing this feeling of enough is inborn, aka instinctive, with children it could make a person wonder, “What is it that changes in the child’s life, in their belief system, that could create a feeling of not being enough or when does the unhappiness or loss in the natural traits of self-confidence start?”  We have a duty, yes an obligation, to figure this out and get it right and of course the sooner the better. I’ve also hear that we are not getting any younger, so let’s get started.

Watch the fun and joy and wonderment that children project from that first smile, eyes fixed on your eyes just looking at you as you rock them and then that daily playfulness as they grow up right before your eyes it seems.  When, and how, do you think that children could lose that belief in themselves and feel the need to start looking to others for worthiness and acceptance?  Of course we all realize that not all children will end up with self-esteem issues but I think you’ll agree with me that many people today have been dealing with self-worth and lack of joy. Is it possible we take that instinctive ability away from them as we start to PLAN their lives? We think it’s our duty to form a child to make them into responsible adults. I’m beginning to think differently about that responsibility of power and the struggle it creates. Please don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying… let the children live like wolves. What I am saying is focus less on status, accomplishments, things to occupy their time like; so many toys they can’t reasonably play with them all, and now the devices that take their glances away from us as they are fixed on media.

What really started me thinking about this lack of natural joy issue was when Dr. Shefali Tsabary said in an interview on SuperSoulSunday, “We don’t have power over our children.” I believe that, I believe we should & can have influence but not take away their authenticity in the process.

True love comes without control. It comes from education and appreciation for each of us having a uniqueness about ourselves and free will (in the absence of hurting others of course) to enjoy the beauty of life without getting egos all involved. Egos both of ours and then out children’s is often what starts the loss of true self in the searching for being better than someone else. That being “better” puts so much stress on little minds that often the joy can’t find a way to get expressed and goes by the wayside.

In my next post I will add ways to find and keep joy in our life and learn from some of the habits that our children can naturally train us on. Stay tuned!

Thank you for listening to my new way of thinking and I look forward to you sharing your thoughts and comments and JOYs in the Reply section below!

Have a joyful day,

Nancy Sustersic – From Naples, Florida is an Author, Speaker & Reality Coach

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