Like it or not, You Can’t Regift Family!
What happened to Us? What a great question, and in “Love the Coopers” there are clues worth gold.
In writing my first ebook of the Playing Fair Series this movie storyline could have easily been a great chapter. It covers; miscommunications, misunderstandings, imposed on and self-imposed lack of self-esteem, anger, hurt and separation. Then it allows the issues to be brought to the surface so the lines of communication could begin without their egos getting in the way. Finally, the problems became transparent, addressed and solutions found. THE END! But, you know there is so much value in the depths of the story that will help families flourish and children thrive.
So I’m on vacation with the intent to be able to write Book Two of Playing Fair, and how it’s all about how the kids are impacted by family turmoil. Love the Coopers was like a gift to my mind and heart. John Goodman – Sam, is asking of Diane Keaton – Charlotte his wife, “What happened to Us? For those who haven’t seen it…It’s family holiday reunion time and Sam and Charlotte are about to get divorced. Sam wants to tell the kids but Charlotte wants to wait and get through the holidays. The family is eating Christmas Dinner and so much turmoil, by many of the family members, of past hurt, and jealousy is going on that Charlotte’s little granddaughter, Madison, shouts to her parents (who are recently separated)…
“Why can’t you quit fighting? Why can’t everyone just get along!”
This is not a question a 5-year-old child, or any age, should need to ask their parents. After all isn’t it usually the parents who are asking the children those questions, sometimes on a daily basis. Kids are told to STOP IT, Time OUT, Play Fair, and that mind you is when the kids are acting like kids. I bet in real life most parents, in a situation like above, wouldn’t even give the child credit for being so aware of what’s happening, let alone how it is negatively impacting them and how much it hurts. As you see in the movie these thought/words etc., that the characters held onto, were impacting them their entire life.
How many times have you heard parents in a public place rip each other apart in the presence of the kids and the parents swear the children aren’t even listening? Even when a child is in the next room with the door closed they are within earshot.
“What happened to us?” becomes secondary to “What happens to the children?”
Awareness and cooperation are the first steps towards healing and I hope today’s blog brings that healing to families searching for solutions to bringing more harmony into their lives. I love the term, Focus on the Family.
One last thought: with statistics from the WSJ of 40% of marriages are remarriages, there are step-parents, step-children, step-etc so the possibility of issues could be magnified as you add more people to the Family Team.
Watch for eBook Two, Playing Fair, Mastering Teamwork in a Multi-Parent Family. My Life as a Football — the children’s stories of growing blended families. The Good, the Bad, and SOLUTIONS.
Please leave comments below, I’d love to hear your input.
Author, Speaker & Reality Coach-for what matters most to you.